April Test Drive Meme

[captainpanic]

If you are planning to app to the game, please read this page and vote in the poll!

S.S. Panic

Test Drive Meme

A quick rundown

Welcome to the S.S. Panic's Test Drive Meme! Here, you can post a top level post and/or respond to other characters in a variety of situations! As you will find if you glance at the map, the ship is a spider-shaped city that is essentially self-sustaining. It's powered by the Infinite Improbability Drive, which when in use allows for the improbable (and impossible!) to happen and become, well, possible!

Below, you will find an example of what a typical monthly job post will look like. To encourage tagging each other, characters who apply to the game after this test drive meme will earn 100 credits per tag they give to someone else. Considering that new refugees are only given a small amount of money to get them started (around 500 credits), this could be huge!

Normally, job posts (currently empty) will be posted on the last day of the month. Characters can begin working the jobs they sign up for on the 1st of the next month. These jobs will be posted early for the Test Drive Meme and can be considered the official jobs of the month.

For now, all jobs will be the lowest paying jobs at Level 5. As the months go on, Level 4, 3, 2 and 1 jobs will be added appropriately. All characters will begin at Level 5 except in very special, rare situations. Keep in mind that some jobs will remain a constant in job postings (Education, for example) while others will change monthly. Also, players may hire other characters themselves in the future through hiring page. Ordinarily, some jobs will have limited slots, but for the purposes of the Test Drive Meme, all jobs come equipped with unlimited slots.

Finally, if you choose to, you can make whatever happens during the Test Drive Meme game canon if you apply and you are accepted into the game. However, this is not required and if you don't want it to be canon but the players of your character's new CR do and vice versa, this is space with wormholes and the IID. Multiple instances of your character is possible, at least for this month.

If you have questions about how the game works, you can look at the gameplay page or post a question to the FAQ page. Remember, you don't have to post your character doing a job. You can have them arguing about the Babelfish, going shopping, having a fist fight with an alien, etc. The important thing is to have fun!

Monthly jobs

Dining

Level 5: XYZ's Diner needs a chef to prepare 800 pounds of devilled eggs [X Slots]
Level 5: Purple Flesh Eats needs someone to dress in only their undergarments and entertain the diners [X Slots]
Level 5: Peculiar Fat Fast Food is running low on tables and needs someone to serve as living table [X Slots]
Level 5: Branched Humanity Restaurant needs employees to serve as mannequins, remaining completely still for most of the day, scaring guests once every four hours [X Slots]
Level 5: The Happiness Disposal Eatery needs a butcher to chop and serve meat from unknown origins [X Slots]

Industry

Level 5: Uncommonly Boisterous needs inexperienced mechanics to build delicate, miniature grandfather clocks [X Slots]
Level 5: Charm Joy needs human subjects to test the effectiveness of various Emotion Potions [X Slots]
Level 5: Performed Age needs diamond miners to work in unsafe conditions [X Slots]
Level 5: Northward needs as many people as possible to sabotage Southward so that Northward can be the first industry to ship its monthly oil quota [X Slots]
Level 5: Southward needs as many people as possible to sabotage Northward so that Southward can be the first industry to ship its monthly oil quota [X Slots]

Education

Level 5: Sunrise Daycare needs workers to sit children; please do not sit ON them [X Slots]
Level 5: Sunrise Daycare needs children to be sat, but not sat on [X Slots]
Level 5: Midday Elementary needs teachers to teach elementary students [X Slots]
Level 5: Midday Elementary needs elementary students for teachers to teach [X Slots]
Level 5: Sunset High School needs teachers to teach high school students [X Slots]
Level 5: Sunset High School needs high school students for teachers to teach [X Slots]
Level 5: End of the Line University needs professors to teach university students [X Slots]
Level 5: End of the Line University needs university students for professors to teach [X Slots]
Level 5: Fools Against Schools needs class bullies to disrupt classroom activities [X Slots]

Nature Reserve

Level 5: The Nature Reserve needs sweepers to sweep the paths [X Slots]
Level 5: The Nature Reserve needs hologram experts to adjust any malfunctions the sky holograms may experience [X Slots]
Level 5: The Nature Reserve needs bird impersonators to scare local birds away [X Slots]
Level 5: The Nature Reserve needs weather testers to monitor the reserve's weather [X Slots]
Level 5: The Nature Reserve needs joggers to give the reserve a sense of activity [X Slots]

Garbage

Level 5: Recycle Or Else needs people to leave garbage at the door of every apartment to warn against the hazards of not recycling [X Slots]
Level 5: Recycle or Else needs people to go through dumpsters to find and process recyclables [X Slots]
Level 5: The Garbage Disposal district needs waste management specialists to tell the garbage truck drivers what to do [X Slots]
Level 5: The Garbage Disposal district needs incinerator experts to man the incinerators and burn the garbage [X Slots]
Level 5: Garbage Treasure needs people to collect valuable items from the garbage that were mistakenly thrown away [X Slots]

Commercial

Level 5: Great Widow Mall needs a mascot to promote its stores [X Slots]
Level 5: Blushes Between needs kiosk vendors to wear down store goers into buying their erotic plant comics [X Slots]
Level 5: Delightful Endeavor Needs cashiers to work with state of the art abacists; no pen and paper allowed [X Slots]
Level 5: Impossible Determination needs people to help reenact the genocide of a bunch of monsters and to pass out flyers [X Slots]
Level 5: Spliced Peppermint needs stepford smiles to give its workers a break when customers get too unruly [X Slots]

Recreation

Level 5: Always Hugs needs someone to give people free hugs [X Slots]
Level 5: Books A-Plenty needs librarians to organize shelves and manage the front desk [X Slots]
Level 5: Spa Seekers need promoters to pass out flyers [X Slots]
Level 5: Sleep Easy needs people to test prototype sleeping medication and herbal supplements [X Slots]
Level 5: Hug-A-Friend needs people to assist visitors in hugging small, cute animals [X Slots]

Agriculture

Level 5: The Agriculture district needs someone to till rows of dirt in preparation for planting [X Slots]
Level 5: The Agriculture district needs seed sowers to sow vegetable seeds [X Slots]
Level 5: The Agriculture district needs plant waterers to make sure the plants are getting enough water [X Slots]
Level 5: The Agriculture district needs harvesters to pick mature fruit [X Slots]
Level 5: The Agriculture district needs someone to act as a scarecrow to scare away what may or may not be crows [X Slots]
Level 5: Firecracker needs someone to make crop circles in various fields [X Slots]

Night Entertainment

Level 5: Saucy needs strippers to dance in the evenings [X Slots]
Level 5: Always Sticky needs someone to slather clients with severed tentacles [X Slots]
Level 5: Perfect Match needs someone to act as a match maker for refugees and aliens of the ship [X Slots]
Level 5: The Marathon needs gamers of all skill levels to participate in the 300 hour video game marathon [X Slots]
Level 5: Pool Parties R Us needs people to test the floatability of pool tables in various bodies of water [X Slots]

Comments

hey look, a scarecrow. || action

[nointent]

[ To be perfectly honest, it was the best job for him at this point in time. As much as he would prefer to be finding out what the cute animal job was about, he didn't want to actually assist anyone in anything.

Thus, Ichimatsu has allowed himself to be hung up and bound to a long wooden pole, overlooking some of the crops in the Agriculture district. His everything was getting tired, but the main problem was that the birds (...are these even crows?) didn't seem to be too afraid of him.

This despite the fact that occasionally, he'll break character to try hissing at them. It works for a moment, until they hiss back. Enjoy that harmoniously annoying sound until you start to get close. Once he hears someone approach, it's right back to being still.

He's getting hungry up here. His stomach's kind of growling. ]

[riddlingual]

I don't think they approved, but I thought your hissing was spot on!

[ A strange girl giggled beside him, on her very own wooden pole. Although, unlike him, she wasn't bound to the pole. She was hanging upside down from it while enjoying a cup of tea. ]

[nointent]

[ Ah, right. It wasn't so much that he was embarrassed to be stuck up there with someone else watching, but more that he had to spend so much time around other people, besides his brothers. Who let him be next to a girl for this long? There should be rules against this kind of thing.

Meekly, Ichimatsu nods. It's about the only action he can take right now. ]

Y...Yeah.

[ Giving her another glance for about a second, he goes back to glaring at the crows. Before awkwardly glancing back again, and finally murmuring. ]

...Are you doing this job too? What's with the tea?

[riddlingual]

Oh! This is a job? I just noticed you doing it and thought it looked like fun.

[ She laughs and lets herself fall off the pole she was hanging from, somehow managing not to spill even one drop of tea in her recklessness. She dusted herself off and moved closer to him. ]

Why, what could be more fun than having tea with a scare crow made of flesh?

[nointent]

[ What about this looked fun, he wondered. Ichimatsu averted his gaze once more, before-- oh no, don't come closer. ]

Literally anything else. Are you sure you don't... have anything better to do?

[ How unlucky and brave must this girl be to not only meet him here, but also keep talking to him?? As a crow literally lands right on top of his head. ]

[riddlingual]

Hmmm.... Nope! I'm as free as... as that adorable bird perching on your perchable head!

[nointent]

[ Ah, one landed up there after all. As he sighs, looking as if he's given up. ]

All you'll be doing here is watching trash like me be unable to even do my job the right way. Are you planning on making fun of me?

[ She's. Allowed? ]

[riddlingual]

Making fun of you? Why on flying ships would I do a thing like that?

[nointent]

Why do you think? I'm a scarecrow that can't scare a crow. I have the easiest job on the ship, and I can't even do that right. It's alright to look at me like I'm crap at the bottom of your shoe.

[ But first, allow him to hiss at the crow again-- which hisses back once more. ]

[scorebooks]

[Sometime before his own job hunt bears fruit, Ichimatsu may notice a guy in a wheelchair trying to get through the terrain as best as he could. Honestly, this wasn't exactly the best place for him, considering the wheels can easily get caked in dirt if he ends up in a muddier spot, but he finds it hard to care when there's less people out here than back in the other districts. Given they're among aliens, it was a little less disconcerting to be out in the open with no one except fields and a hissing scarecrow.

...

Actually, hold that thought.

He looks up and blinks for a moment, confused, before he finally notices that the scarecrow is not an actual scarecrow. At least, that's more human-like than any scarecrow has a right to be.]

... Huh. How did you end up there?

[nointent]

[ Well, that's not what he expected to see today. It probably wasn't a good idea for him to be out here like that, but hey, he can't tell him not to.

It's a little annoying for anyone to see him like this. He stares at his guest for a moment, before opening his mouth once more. ]

I'm working. Is that a problem?

[ There wasn't really a need to be standoffish, but everyone's always going on about needing a job, and since this one was open, why the hell not? ]

[scorebooks]

No problem at all. I just had to be sure.

[He... vaguely recalls a job ad about that, but if he were to be honest, most of the advertisements sounded like jokes. He didn't quite expect there to be an actual job being a scarecrow, and on the off-chance it did exist (and apparently, it really did), he was expecting him to be less... well... crucified, perhaps?

He's not sure what to make of the scene.]

Seems like a rather uneventful task though. How long have you been up there?

[nointent]

About two hours. Maybe three.

[ It was hard to remember, the time was just blending together and he couldn't really tell time with the sun. Not only did he not have the brainpower to do that, but they were on a spaceship. That sun most likely wasn't real in the first place. ]

It's fine. The crows have been keeping me company.

[scorebooks]

[...

What an odd person. Well, he supposed it probably made sense to him, though with an artificial sun overhead, he does wonder if he'll end up roasting anyway under this heat. Nao can't imagine, especially since he has no choice but to stay.

He looks up, squinting slightly as he regards the 'sun', before looking at Ichimatsu again.]

I'm wondering why they have crows for you to try to scare anyway. Isn't all of this generated?

[nointent]

Probably just to keep me out of everyone else's way.

[ If it were, it was sure taking a long time. Even the crows, two of which decided to just land on Ichimatsu's shoulders, weren't going away. ]

It's alright if you want to go. You don't need to waste your time on someone like me.

[scorebooks]

[Oh, well that's a sure way to make him stay. Nao was, if nothing else, a very curious individual. At the very least, the statement is enough for him to think twice about leaving.]

Ah, don't mind me. I was actually thinking of taking a break.

[He says cheerfully, and for a while he wonders what exactly makes him say such a thing? Is he such an unwanted person?]

Won't you take one with me? I imagine it must be more interesting than being tied up all day.

So it is

[be_acknowledged]

Er, Ichimatsu?

[Your older bro is concerned about you, buddy. For multiple reasons which he's still trying to pick out. Naturally, he goes for the "WTF" reaction first.]

I can't believe you actually took that job. Isn't that really uncomfortable?

[nointent]

[ There's no problem here, Choromatsu. Just an Ichimatsu who's being still, despite the ropes binding him a little too tightly. ]

It's not as bad as it looks. A job's a job, isn't it?

[be_acknowledged]

Honestly, this feels more like a handout than a job. I don't get why they can't just make a scarecrow. Seems like it'd be cheaper.

[nointent]

They said something about these crows not being afraid of straw, and that it'd be a bigger waste to have them destroy multiple scarecrows than me.

[ They had him on that one. ]

[be_acknowledged]

[That's so cold!]

I'm not really sure they're all that scared of humans either?

[nointent]

It's getting annoying. If I glare any harder at them, I'll go blind.

[ That and hissing didn't seem to work. There's only so much he feels like doing. ]

I should probably quit, but I have six more hours to go. That should be enough time.

[be_acknowledged]

[Six hours?!]

How are you even going to get lunch tied up like that?

[demoiselled]

[ He might be being very still, but that stomach growling is pretty loud. Elise glances over, startled, before remembering there HAD been a posting about some sort of scarecrow duty. She's not going to get him in trouble if she talks to him, right? ]

Do you want some candy? It's not a lot, but it might tide you over until your lunch break! [ ... ] That's a thing you get, right?

[nointent]

[ Someone noticed! Even though Ichimatsu's about ready for lunch, he's sweating profusely and shaking his head. ]

You don't have to leave me anything, I'll get by until my break. It's just another few more hours...