April Test Drive Meme

[captainpanic]

If you are planning to app to the game, please read this page and vote in the poll!

S.S. Panic

Test Drive Meme

A quick rundown

Welcome to the S.S. Panic's Test Drive Meme! Here, you can post a top level post and/or respond to other characters in a variety of situations! As you will find if you glance at the map, the ship is a spider-shaped city that is essentially self-sustaining. It's powered by the Infinite Improbability Drive, which when in use allows for the improbable (and impossible!) to happen and become, well, possible!

Below, you will find an example of what a typical monthly job post will look like. To encourage tagging each other, characters who apply to the game after this test drive meme will earn 100 credits per tag they give to someone else. Considering that new refugees are only given a small amount of money to get them started (around 500 credits), this could be huge!

Normally, job posts (currently empty) will be posted on the last day of the month. Characters can begin working the jobs they sign up for on the 1st of the next month. These jobs will be posted early for the Test Drive Meme and can be considered the official jobs of the month.

For now, all jobs will be the lowest paying jobs at Level 5. As the months go on, Level 4, 3, 2 and 1 jobs will be added appropriately. All characters will begin at Level 5 except in very special, rare situations. Keep in mind that some jobs will remain a constant in job postings (Education, for example) while others will change monthly. Also, players may hire other characters themselves in the future through hiring page. Ordinarily, some jobs will have limited slots, but for the purposes of the Test Drive Meme, all jobs come equipped with unlimited slots.

Finally, if you choose to, you can make whatever happens during the Test Drive Meme game canon if you apply and you are accepted into the game. However, this is not required and if you don't want it to be canon but the players of your character's new CR do and vice versa, this is space with wormholes and the IID. Multiple instances of your character is possible, at least for this month.

If you have questions about how the game works, you can look at the gameplay page or post a question to the FAQ page. Remember, you don't have to post your character doing a job. You can have them arguing about the Babelfish, going shopping, having a fist fight with an alien, etc. The important thing is to have fun!

Monthly jobs

Dining

Level 5: XYZ's Diner needs a chef to prepare 800 pounds of devilled eggs [X Slots]
Level 5: Purple Flesh Eats needs someone to dress in only their undergarments and entertain the diners [X Slots]
Level 5: Peculiar Fat Fast Food is running low on tables and needs someone to serve as living table [X Slots]
Level 5: Branched Humanity Restaurant needs employees to serve as mannequins, remaining completely still for most of the day, scaring guests once every four hours [X Slots]
Level 5: The Happiness Disposal Eatery needs a butcher to chop and serve meat from unknown origins [X Slots]

Industry

Level 5: Uncommonly Boisterous needs inexperienced mechanics to build delicate, miniature grandfather clocks [X Slots]
Level 5: Charm Joy needs human subjects to test the effectiveness of various Emotion Potions [X Slots]
Level 5: Performed Age needs diamond miners to work in unsafe conditions [X Slots]
Level 5: Northward needs as many people as possible to sabotage Southward so that Northward can be the first industry to ship its monthly oil quota [X Slots]
Level 5: Southward needs as many people as possible to sabotage Northward so that Southward can be the first industry to ship its monthly oil quota [X Slots]

Education

Level 5: Sunrise Daycare needs workers to sit children; please do not sit ON them [X Slots]
Level 5: Sunrise Daycare needs children to be sat, but not sat on [X Slots]
Level 5: Midday Elementary needs teachers to teach elementary students [X Slots]
Level 5: Midday Elementary needs elementary students for teachers to teach [X Slots]
Level 5: Sunset High School needs teachers to teach high school students [X Slots]
Level 5: Sunset High School needs high school students for teachers to teach [X Slots]
Level 5: End of the Line University needs professors to teach university students [X Slots]
Level 5: End of the Line University needs university students for professors to teach [X Slots]
Level 5: Fools Against Schools needs class bullies to disrupt classroom activities [X Slots]

Nature Reserve

Level 5: The Nature Reserve needs sweepers to sweep the paths [X Slots]
Level 5: The Nature Reserve needs hologram experts to adjust any malfunctions the sky holograms may experience [X Slots]
Level 5: The Nature Reserve needs bird impersonators to scare local birds away [X Slots]
Level 5: The Nature Reserve needs weather testers to monitor the reserve's weather [X Slots]
Level 5: The Nature Reserve needs joggers to give the reserve a sense of activity [X Slots]

Garbage

Level 5: Recycle Or Else needs people to leave garbage at the door of every apartment to warn against the hazards of not recycling [X Slots]
Level 5: Recycle or Else needs people to go through dumpsters to find and process recyclables [X Slots]
Level 5: The Garbage Disposal district needs waste management specialists to tell the garbage truck drivers what to do [X Slots]
Level 5: The Garbage Disposal district needs incinerator experts to man the incinerators and burn the garbage [X Slots]
Level 5: Garbage Treasure needs people to collect valuable items from the garbage that were mistakenly thrown away [X Slots]

Commercial

Level 5: Great Widow Mall needs a mascot to promote its stores [X Slots]
Level 5: Blushes Between needs kiosk vendors to wear down store goers into buying their erotic plant comics [X Slots]
Level 5: Delightful Endeavor Needs cashiers to work with state of the art abacists; no pen and paper allowed [X Slots]
Level 5: Impossible Determination needs people to help reenact the genocide of a bunch of monsters and to pass out flyers [X Slots]
Level 5: Spliced Peppermint needs stepford smiles to give its workers a break when customers get too unruly [X Slots]

Recreation

Level 5: Always Hugs needs someone to give people free hugs [X Slots]
Level 5: Books A-Plenty needs librarians to organize shelves and manage the front desk [X Slots]
Level 5: Spa Seekers need promoters to pass out flyers [X Slots]
Level 5: Sleep Easy needs people to test prototype sleeping medication and herbal supplements [X Slots]
Level 5: Hug-A-Friend needs people to assist visitors in hugging small, cute animals [X Slots]

Agriculture

Level 5: The Agriculture district needs someone to till rows of dirt in preparation for planting [X Slots]
Level 5: The Agriculture district needs seed sowers to sow vegetable seeds [X Slots]
Level 5: The Agriculture district needs plant waterers to make sure the plants are getting enough water [X Slots]
Level 5: The Agriculture district needs harvesters to pick mature fruit [X Slots]
Level 5: The Agriculture district needs someone to act as a scarecrow to scare away what may or may not be crows [X Slots]
Level 5: Firecracker needs someone to make crop circles in various fields [X Slots]

Night Entertainment

Level 5: Saucy needs strippers to dance in the evenings [X Slots]
Level 5: Always Sticky needs someone to slather clients with severed tentacles [X Slots]
Level 5: Perfect Match needs someone to act as a match maker for refugees and aliens of the ship [X Slots]
Level 5: The Marathon needs gamers of all skill levels to participate in the 300 hour video game marathon [X Slots]
Level 5: Pool Parties R Us needs people to test the floatability of pool tables in various bodies of water [X Slots]

Comments

Renko Usami | Not Even The Good Parts of Touhou | ota

[greenwichsky]

[ 1 - Education ]

-The whole concept of getting paid to go to school was still completely alien to Renko, but she still needed to take extra jobs, and she figured HEY HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO TEACH HIGH SCHOOL KIDS. She was once a high schooler herself, she figures, so it can't be too terribly difficult. She was great in high school. She killed her exams with a finely sharpened sword of being a total nerd plus having nearly infinite amounts of free time caused in part by her total lack of a social life outside of watching reruns of "Cosmos"...

But it became apparent once she'd written down a certain equation and turned around to see almost entirely blank faces that maybe, just maybe, she had overestimated her teaching ability.-

Um... Can someone remind me what class this is again?

-Oh boy.-

[ 2 - Nature Reserve ]

-Another case of 'how hard could it be'? And while she thought it would be a good way of getting paid to exercise, she once more vastly overestimated her ability. One can come across poor Renko collapsed near the walkway, crawling in futility towards a fountain, looking very similar to a corpse. A very tired corpse.-

H-help... me...

-She'd only jogged two kilometers, though...-

[ 3 - Garbage ]

-Loathe as she was to admit it, this was something she was actually good at. Hey, sometimes you needed to budget for supplies over food when you were a scientist! And yet human bodies still needed to eat. Plus sometimes the best way to find the things you needed to complete your research were the kind of stuff people just threw away! Human beings sure did waste a lot of science.

And thus she's foraging. In YOUR bin. And she just got caught...-

Um... It's not what it looks like? -It's totally what it looks like.-

[ 4 - Agriculture ]

-Renko had a lot of Ideas and Theories about what actually caused various crop circles on her own world, but that same line of thinking also gave her a lot of inspiration for designs to put here. Of course working the walking boards to MAKE the circles was physical activity and ha ha, that just was not Renko's ability as previously concluded. So instead she sat back and used SCIENCE to make the perfect, most eye catching designs, quickly sketching them down. Man, when's the last time she used a protractor like this...-

Okay and now... exactly 57 degrees in that direction once the circle's radius reaches 3 meters... -Some people might not like the fact she isn't doing any real work, though...-

[[ renko was in the previous game, but for the sake of simplicity, I'm starting her off fresh ]]

3

[popsometags]

[ Rinne showed up to the garbage bin with a broom in hand, thinking he was going to have to shoo away a cat or something. Instead... what the hell was this, actually. ]

Really. [ Less than impressed here, Renko. ] Did you lose something in my trash?

[greenwichsky]

That's not really a fair question. No matter how I answer it, I'm going to look stupid. I demand you rephrase it in a way that makes me seem less pathetic.

[popsometags]

Isn't digging through the garbage pathetic in the first place? [ This is a completely innocuous question. But, just to show that he's not trying to be a jerk. ] Did you lose something in the trash?

[ Loads a difference. ]

[greenwichsky]

Much better.

Anyways, I'm here because you didn't sort your trash, and therefore I'm doing it for you, which I'm sure won't teach you a lesson about being lazy, and might actually provide me with some much needed materials, so I think it's a win-win-win all around for you, me, and the idealistic environmentalist group that's paying me.

[popsometags]

I know I should, but I've never had this much trash before. Sometimes it just all blends together.

[ Wait-- ]

Are. Are you getting paid to do this?

[greenwichsky]

I feel the need to defend myself against judgement, again.

[popsometags]

This is the first I've heard of this! [ Maybe because when he looked, he sorta skipped over garbage. Must have missed it? ]

If it turns out that you're trying to make off with my bottles to get spare change...!

[ That's his spare change he forgot to recycle! ]

3

[karamatsugirls]

[What is this? A cute girl, looking through his trash bin?]

I knew you would come, Karamatsu girl!

[Actually he didn't know. What is she even doing looking through the trash? Maybe she's just eccentric.]

Do you require some assistance? I'm here to serve.

[greenwichsky]

...

That might entirely depend on a few things. Namely whatever a karamatsu girl might be and secondly whether or not you have precognitive abilities. If you answer positively to the latter one, I may need you to come with me.

[karamatsugirls]

Every girl is a Karamatsu girl, because every girl deserves to be loved and cherished by me, Karamatsu! Now, what is it that you need someone with precognitive abilities for?

[He doesn't have those. He doesn't even know what she's talking about.]

[greenwichsky]

...





That answered more questions than I even asked, to be entirely frank. I think I'll make my exit now. -And she is desperately looking for one. Anywhere. Trash be damned.-

1

[zetahatsudo]

[It was supposed to be simple. Getting paid to go school was a godsend, and he needed to finish high-school anyway. After all, anything that could help him service the Zeta Gundam in this place was useful, so funds and knowledge hand in hand?

Clearly, he went wrong somewhere, because this was not the AP Physics class he signed up for.]

...

[Slowly, he held up his textbook for the space case of a teacher to read.]

[greenwichsky]

... Ah.

Carrying on then. Who can tell me the purpose of this equation? -AP Physics? Sounded right to her. She didn't know, of course, that the 'A' in 'AP' had an upward limit for high schoolers...-

[zetahatsudo]

[Do you hear that, Renko? That's the collective sound of an entire classroom of students going 'Uh...' at once.

Kamille's a brash one, though, and he wouldn't take this status quo for long. The sheer surprise having run it's course, he was about to take action. The other students around him watched, staring in suspense; was he actually capable of answering her question-?]

None of us can answer this question, it's way beyond what supposed to be taught at this level!

[Nope, he was going to call out the teacher on her mis-step. Have fun dying!]

[greenwichsky]

-Gulp. Time to roll for recovery.-

Well that depends. Do you have pride as an AP student? If so, then you should be able to work your way through this. Use your text if necessary, but even if you don't believe in yourself, I believe in you.

Believe in me that believes in you. -Nailed it.-

1/2

[zetahatsudo]

[Yup, that sure was a natural 20 you rolled, Usami. In normal circumstances/anime, that speech of yours would have worked!]

[Kamille stood up on his chair and turned to face his fellow students.] Alright everyone, let's divvy up the sections amongst ourselves! Get to reading!

[zetahatsudo]

[Too bad this is a grim-derp reality that runs on warhammer rules, where smaller numbers are better.]

After having covered the book collectively, we have come to the conclusion that the equation you are working with is doctorate level in difficulty and that you have no idea what you're doing.

[Critical Failure.]

[greenwichsky]

...


Then we're learning something new today. This equation is known as the Standard Model. It is a theoretical equation used for classifying sub-atomic particles. Can anyone tell me what the applications of this would be?

-Pressure pressure.-

1

[strawberry_science]

[ Why is Yumemi even IN a High School class to begin with? Because her guide glitched and would not allow her to sign up for a higher tier as it went purely off of her age and not her qualifications. One can hardly blame it; money was money and, also, it isn't as if the aliens that brought her here had access to her transcripts.

What the teacher was putting up on the board, though, had her full attention. When the rest of the class fell silent save for some confusion murmuring, Yumemi was the one to groan the loudest. ]

A class I am clearly not going to get any work done in. [ Notes? Textbooks? No, Yumemi had a small toolbox open, some precision devices of a strange configuration in her hands, and what looked to be an overly complex wristwatch taken apart and strewn about in parts on a white sheet on her desk. ]

Ugh, such a dated model. It's almost painful.

[greenwichsky]

-She didn't know which was worse, the blank stares from the other students or the biting condescension from the one that might possibly know more than her.-

Look, it's called 'Standard' for a reason. I didn't make the rules.

[strawberry_science]

Obviously, or you wouldn't have left it incomplete. [ A quick glance around. ] —though there isn't enough blackboard space for that. You may just have to use the floor.

[greenwichsky]

It's a digital board, you can just change the resolution. -That was definitely a dare, on Renko's part.-

[strawberry_science]

I don't really have the time for this. Literally. The class is not long enough.

Besides— [ Yumemi reached across to her neighbor's desk, ignoring their protest as she snatched and raised their textbook up like a placard. ] —this is not the place for it.

[ She signed up for Chemistry, not Amateur Physicist's Hour. It's Renko's move. ]

[greenwichsky]

-Crap. Critical hit. Renko's look quickly grew more panicked.-

Um... W-well... You know, since we're on the topic of subatomic particles, uh... um...

Can anyone tell me how we can... change the function of this equation to uh... more finely determine the atomic makeup of certain elements?

-Was that a save or did she just make shit up? Not even she knows.-