April Test Drive Meme

[captainpanic]

If you are planning to app to the game, please read this page and vote in the poll!

S.S. Panic

Test Drive Meme

A quick rundown

Welcome to the S.S. Panic's Test Drive Meme! Here, you can post a top level post and/or respond to other characters in a variety of situations! As you will find if you glance at the map, the ship is a spider-shaped city that is essentially self-sustaining. It's powered by the Infinite Improbability Drive, which when in use allows for the improbable (and impossible!) to happen and become, well, possible!

Below, you will find an example of what a typical monthly job post will look like. To encourage tagging each other, characters who apply to the game after this test drive meme will earn 100 credits per tag they give to someone else. Considering that new refugees are only given a small amount of money to get them started (around 500 credits), this could be huge!

Normally, job posts (currently empty) will be posted on the last day of the month. Characters can begin working the jobs they sign up for on the 1st of the next month. These jobs will be posted early for the Test Drive Meme and can be considered the official jobs of the month.

For now, all jobs will be the lowest paying jobs at Level 5. As the months go on, Level 4, 3, 2 and 1 jobs will be added appropriately. All characters will begin at Level 5 except in very special, rare situations. Keep in mind that some jobs will remain a constant in job postings (Education, for example) while others will change monthly. Also, players may hire other characters themselves in the future through hiring page. Ordinarily, some jobs will have limited slots, but for the purposes of the Test Drive Meme, all jobs come equipped with unlimited slots.

Finally, if you choose to, you can make whatever happens during the Test Drive Meme game canon if you apply and you are accepted into the game. However, this is not required and if you don't want it to be canon but the players of your character's new CR do and vice versa, this is space with wormholes and the IID. Multiple instances of your character is possible, at least for this month.

If you have questions about how the game works, you can look at the gameplay page or post a question to the FAQ page. Remember, you don't have to post your character doing a job. You can have them arguing about the Babelfish, going shopping, having a fist fight with an alien, etc. The important thing is to have fun!

Monthly jobs

Dining

Level 5: XYZ's Diner needs a chef to prepare 800 pounds of devilled eggs [X Slots]
Level 5: Purple Flesh Eats needs someone to dress in only their undergarments and entertain the diners [X Slots]
Level 5: Peculiar Fat Fast Food is running low on tables and needs someone to serve as living table [X Slots]
Level 5: Branched Humanity Restaurant needs employees to serve as mannequins, remaining completely still for most of the day, scaring guests once every four hours [X Slots]
Level 5: The Happiness Disposal Eatery needs a butcher to chop and serve meat from unknown origins [X Slots]

Industry

Level 5: Uncommonly Boisterous needs inexperienced mechanics to build delicate, miniature grandfather clocks [X Slots]
Level 5: Charm Joy needs human subjects to test the effectiveness of various Emotion Potions [X Slots]
Level 5: Performed Age needs diamond miners to work in unsafe conditions [X Slots]
Level 5: Northward needs as many people as possible to sabotage Southward so that Northward can be the first industry to ship its monthly oil quota [X Slots]
Level 5: Southward needs as many people as possible to sabotage Northward so that Southward can be the first industry to ship its monthly oil quota [X Slots]

Education

Level 5: Sunrise Daycare needs workers to sit children; please do not sit ON them [X Slots]
Level 5: Sunrise Daycare needs children to be sat, but not sat on [X Slots]
Level 5: Midday Elementary needs teachers to teach elementary students [X Slots]
Level 5: Midday Elementary needs elementary students for teachers to teach [X Slots]
Level 5: Sunset High School needs teachers to teach high school students [X Slots]
Level 5: Sunset High School needs high school students for teachers to teach [X Slots]
Level 5: End of the Line University needs professors to teach university students [X Slots]
Level 5: End of the Line University needs university students for professors to teach [X Slots]
Level 5: Fools Against Schools needs class bullies to disrupt classroom activities [X Slots]

Nature Reserve

Level 5: The Nature Reserve needs sweepers to sweep the paths [X Slots]
Level 5: The Nature Reserve needs hologram experts to adjust any malfunctions the sky holograms may experience [X Slots]
Level 5: The Nature Reserve needs bird impersonators to scare local birds away [X Slots]
Level 5: The Nature Reserve needs weather testers to monitor the reserve's weather [X Slots]
Level 5: The Nature Reserve needs joggers to give the reserve a sense of activity [X Slots]

Garbage

Level 5: Recycle Or Else needs people to leave garbage at the door of every apartment to warn against the hazards of not recycling [X Slots]
Level 5: Recycle or Else needs people to go through dumpsters to find and process recyclables [X Slots]
Level 5: The Garbage Disposal district needs waste management specialists to tell the garbage truck drivers what to do [X Slots]
Level 5: The Garbage Disposal district needs incinerator experts to man the incinerators and burn the garbage [X Slots]
Level 5: Garbage Treasure needs people to collect valuable items from the garbage that were mistakenly thrown away [X Slots]

Commercial

Level 5: Great Widow Mall needs a mascot to promote its stores [X Slots]
Level 5: Blushes Between needs kiosk vendors to wear down store goers into buying their erotic plant comics [X Slots]
Level 5: Delightful Endeavor Needs cashiers to work with state of the art abacists; no pen and paper allowed [X Slots]
Level 5: Impossible Determination needs people to help reenact the genocide of a bunch of monsters and to pass out flyers [X Slots]
Level 5: Spliced Peppermint needs stepford smiles to give its workers a break when customers get too unruly [X Slots]

Recreation

Level 5: Always Hugs needs someone to give people free hugs [X Slots]
Level 5: Books A-Plenty needs librarians to organize shelves and manage the front desk [X Slots]
Level 5: Spa Seekers need promoters to pass out flyers [X Slots]
Level 5: Sleep Easy needs people to test prototype sleeping medication and herbal supplements [X Slots]
Level 5: Hug-A-Friend needs people to assist visitors in hugging small, cute animals [X Slots]

Agriculture

Level 5: The Agriculture district needs someone to till rows of dirt in preparation for planting [X Slots]
Level 5: The Agriculture district needs seed sowers to sow vegetable seeds [X Slots]
Level 5: The Agriculture district needs plant waterers to make sure the plants are getting enough water [X Slots]
Level 5: The Agriculture district needs harvesters to pick mature fruit [X Slots]
Level 5: The Agriculture district needs someone to act as a scarecrow to scare away what may or may not be crows [X Slots]
Level 5: Firecracker needs someone to make crop circles in various fields [X Slots]

Night Entertainment

Level 5: Saucy needs strippers to dance in the evenings [X Slots]
Level 5: Always Sticky needs someone to slather clients with severed tentacles [X Slots]
Level 5: Perfect Match needs someone to act as a match maker for refugees and aliens of the ship [X Slots]
Level 5: The Marathon needs gamers of all skill levels to participate in the 300 hour video game marathon [X Slots]
Level 5: Pool Parties R Us needs people to test the floatability of pool tables in various bodies of water [X Slots]

Comments

[scorebooks]

[The ones who weren't listening continued to cry on, and Nao had to reach over and pat their heads in an attempt to mollify them. Not that it did much, but at least he tried.

Upon the cue of Killua's words though, he smiles and nods in agreement before the child has the chance to be suspicious.]

I'd like that. You're prettier with a smile than a frown.

[He offers, because he suspects that it would make her happy. It does seem to do the trick, even if the rest aren't quite sure they trust Killua just yet.

... Though, that doesn't last long either because now they decide to test his honesty by dogpiling Killua instead. After all, the best way to prove it is to play with them, right?]

[jinrai]

[Nao’s words are enough to placate the girl, but the others still look far from convinced. It’s like they’re sizing him up, determining whether to launch a revolt or forgive Killua for his transgressions when they all turn to him and stare.

This can’t be good, can it? Killua’s arched a brow, shooting them all questioning glances, but they descend on him like locusts before he can ask any questions.]

Wait- Don’t–!

[It’s hard to tell if this is forgiveness or not. Killua is forced to yield to their demands when they scale up his sides, hands clammy and faces dirty with residual snot. Apparently it was too soon to expect he’d be getting away with a clean work uniform.]

Gross–! I mean, uhh, wouldn’t you guys rather play with Nao? I bet he’d give you a ride if you said please!

[None of them are buying it.]

[scorebooks]

.. Pfft.

[Nao had to hide his laugh behind one hand, turning away in a very bad attempt to hide the obvious mirth. The girl on his laugh wasn't even trying to hide her own glee, turning so she can face Killua while still seated even as the kids start chanting that he should carry them.

He does feel a little bad, given that Killua was the one who was 'saving' him from the attack of children, but it was funny.]

Don't mind me. I'm sure they enjoy your company a lot too.

[jinrai]

[But he doesn’t want them to enjoy his company! The almost plaintive look Killua’s shooting Nao gives way to something more akin to a scowl.

Fine. He’s here to do his job, isn’t he? The kids are begging him to cart them around, so at the risk of inciting more tears, Killua has little choice. Craning down, he allows two to climb onto his back to sit side by side, plunking the third down on what space remains on Nao’s lap. If this is how it’s gonna be, then Nao’s going to participate too, like it or not.]

Hey, how about a field trip?

[Roaming around the halls isn’t going to be much of an adventure, but the kids seem plenty enthused anyway. Tapping at one of his wheels with a foot, Killua starts towards the door, tossing a glance back at Nao.]

And you're coming too! Don’t just ditch me with these brats.

[scorebooks]

Of course.

[He says, if only because the protest that comes from being called brats was enough of an indication for Nao to know what will happen if he doesn't come along. He's quick to shift gears, though the weight of two children and himself was definitely more than he's used to. Nothing he can't handle though as he starts wheeling them all after Killua.]

Just remember we need to get back in 30... [He pauses, trying to remember if they said minutes or hours, because both spans of time are completely possible.]

Well, as soon as possible.

[jinrai]

Right. Shouldn’t take more than a few minutes.

[Hopefully a short jaunt around the educational wing will be enough to tire them out, and with any luck that’ll mean the rest of their shift should be a piece of cake... or so Killua hopes.

The automatic doors glide open, allowing them to start down the hall without a hitch. Killua has to readjust his grip on the two children glued to his back on more than one occasion, seeing as they can’t seem to keep themselves still.

Though it may not seem like it, Killua’s thankful Nao agreed to go along for the ride. He keeps his steps purposefully short, trying to mitigate some of the hassle of Nao having to wheel around with two children adding additional weight.

There’s little downtime in this job for idle chit chat, but Killua can’t help inquiring, directing a question at Nao as they wander down the hall.]

So why work with kids? No offense, but you seem more like the bookworm type to me.

[scorebooks]

Do I?

[It's not an answer, he knows, even as he easily follows after Killua with no complaint. He's grateful for the slower pace, though he knows he can keep up if he moved faster. It's easier to tire himself out though with the weight of two children, though he just thinks of it as extra exercise on top of his own usual regime.

Still, it was a question, and he should grace him with a proper answer for at least saving him.]

Ah, thank you. I can't really find offense in being told I seem the studious type. [He is, after all. He had to keep his grades up in the past.]

I just thought it would be fun. It's not something I've done before. And you? Why choose this job?

[He certainly seemed less keen than Nao with the idea of handling children.]

[jinrai]

[Back turned to Nao, Killua nods just once. He seemed the type who would be better suited to working in a library or something equally mundane, not monitoring alien rugrats.

Killua listens to Nao’s explanation as he works his way down the hall, the children seated on his back occupied with combing their hands through his hair. It’s nothing grand, and it’s the kind of answer Killua expected, but when it’s bounced back at him, all he can offer initially is a shrug.]

Dunno.

[But he does know. It’s hard to put his explanation into words in a way that doesn’t feel embarrassing to cough out, but he manages eventually.]

It’s important, right? Making sure kids get the attention they need when they’re little so they can grow up to be strong people. Obviously I’m pretty bad at this, but in the beginning, that was the idea.

[Because everyone deserves a fair shot at happiness, and that’s the sentiment Killua leaves out.]

[scorebooks]

[It's probably for the best that he can't see the way Nao looks at him, analyzing the words in his mind. It was as if he was trying to pick apart a puzzle, focus only momentarily broken when the child on his lap whined and demanded for him to speed up. He chides him quietly for a few seconds, pausing in the travel in order to prove a point.

Either way, he probably should voice out an answer, or a warning about being left behind.]

Now now, you can't be too demanding. Your parents wouldn't be too happy if I told them you were misbehaving.

[He spoke, loud enough for Killua to hear, before he turns to him.]

I think you're doing better than you think. Though, I guess you're speaking from experience, right?

[jinrai]

[Following Nao’s reprimands, Killua tosses a glance over his shoulder at the combative boy on his lap. The look on Killua’s face is enough to remind the child of what might happen should he boss Nao around too much– no one wants to suffer the wrath of the Child-Gobbling Wheelchair. That in itself is enough to hush the kid up.

Nearing the cental hub of the ship, Killua turns to head down the hall to circle back through the educational wing. One lap around should be more than enough, and a few of the children are already starting to grow quiet.]

From experience? Mm, not especially.

[If it isn’t obnoxious half answers, then it’s little white lies Killua offers by way of response. He can’t afford to take any risks by bringing his own life experiences into focus. Nao has all the makings of a respectable and trustworthy person from what Killua has assessed, but it’s too soon to put his faith in him.]

It’s just common sense, isn’t it? If you treat kids well, they’re more likely to grow up well... though I guess that’s really only part of it. I wouldn't really know.

[scorebooks]

I see.

[That does make him wonder about the true meaning of his words. Of course, he could also be reading too much into it, but from his experience-- people who have had really good childhoods tend to be very proud of it. Half-answers are as good as confirmation for him, but he doesn't know his coworker well enough to jump to that conclusion. At the very least, it could be attributed to shyness.]

Well, that may be so, but you can't spoil them either. Then they become rebellious.

[Or well...] Strike a balance, but don't be too intimidating either, right?

[He may be pointing out that he definitely saw that look you gave. Luckily, the child in his lap doesn't quite get the meaning of it.]

[jinrai]

[The less Nao knows, the better. If Killua has gleaned anything from their conversation so far, it's that Nao is the thoughtful type, perhaps a little nosy as well. He may turn out to be a valueable asset in the future, but he could just as easily end up a hindrance.]

But being a little rebellious isn't all bad, either. Sometimes being your own person's more important than what your folks tell you to be.

[At that, Killua glances back at Nao, one brow quirked.]

Hey, I said I was sorry! Guess it'd be better if I left the kids up to you, right? Seeing as they like you so much~

[Sure, Killua won't actually ditch Nao with these brats, but it's a fun threat to make anyway.]